


lilac hem

by chwepen



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: F/M, First Time, Fluff, Oral Sex, basically just an awkward but loving first time okay i'm a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-08-28 01:43:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16714138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chwepen/pseuds/chwepen
Summary: An unconventional conversation about your relationship with a friend leads to a night filled with laughter and nothing less than love.





	lilac hem

The last spoonful of Fruit Loops sat on your tongue the moment Soonyoung asked, “Have you and Hansol had sex yet?”

Soonyoung’s new romance with Minghao began a lengthy talk about past relationships and dating tips. The sudden turn to your own love life urged you to choke on the cereal as soon as the word “sex” left his mouth. Not because the thought left a bad taste, but only from the audacity he had thinking discussing you and your boyfriend’s private moments were up for casual discussion.

It had little to do with the fact you hadn’t gone that far with Hansol yet.

It was normal to want to be intimate with a partner, to understand one another physically and where you did and didn’t fit. Then again, neither of you pushed, and it was easy to pretend the topic wasn’t there. You knew him, loved him, saw him as a best friend as well as a partner; sex wouldn’t ruin that. Nevertheless, ten months in, you never took it past the intimacy you already shared.

You swallowed the cereal, responding with, “Is there a reason you’re asking me and not my boyfriend?”

“I mean, he’s really private about the two of you. He could just be a closed book like we all know he is, or it hasn’t happened yet.” Soonyoung wiggled his eyebrows while biting into his last piece of toast.

You pushed your hand into his chest on the way to the sink, draining the milk in your bowl and dropping the tableware with a clank. “You need to go out more often if that’s your idea of small talk.”

Soonyoung’s feet sagged when he stood up, as if he’d been scolded for eating candy before dinner. Setting his plate next to your bowl, he sighed. “Listen, I didn’t mean to pry, and I’m not trying to be a creep. Still, you can talk to me. It might be a bit weird but I love you both. And I see how you look at each other. But, if it’s too personal, I can shut my mouth.”

“You, shutting your mouth? I’m shocked.” He laughed before weakly shoulder-checking you. You had nothing to lose if you told the truth or lied. You went with the former anyway. “It’s not like there’s been no opportunity, we’re just taking things slow, you know? I mean, my first time wasn’t exactly perfect. I guess I’d rather wait than have it drift us apart, even if we’re both a bit frustrated.”

In the simplest terms, the first time had been a train-wreck. Little communication resulted in little pleasure, even if it was with someone who you cared for. Then again, that didn’t ensure satisfaction.

“You never…at all?” Soonyoung shook his head in shock. You stopped yourself from laughing with a hand to your mouth, a few soap bubbles popping on your fingers.

“Soon, we might not have sex, but we’re not prudes.”

In your mind, sex didn’t need to be the beginning and end of physical affection. Some nights, Hansol’s hands and mouth made you gasp and writhe around under him in the best way. And in turn, on other days, you offered your words and tongue to pull him into your shared bed with many grunts and curses.

“You’re telling me you’ve never thought of going for a home run instead of stopping quick at third base, coach?”

“If this is the mindset that stole Minghao’s heart, you either need more pointers on relationships or a boyfriend made of stronger stuff,” you joked. Washing the dishes to clear your mind, it made talking easier with your hands occupied. It helped you unwind, even if you owned a dishwasher.

“Don’t be mean! I was just thinking it!”

“You always speak before you think.” The voice wasn’t new to your ears, but it made your heart skip all the same. Turning your head, you noticed the rips in Hansol’s running shirt and the sweat rolling down his neck. His light-brown hair was getting longer, shaggier and slightly curled, and his bangs fell right before his eyes. It was damp like the rest of his skin, but you’d stare regardless. He looked incredible, even in his desperate need for a shower. “Hi, babe.” Hansol planted a kiss on your cheek, then rummaged through the fridge for a bottle of water.

“The man of the hour. Who knew you got your ass out of bed in the morning. Thankfully, your girlfriend hasn’t used the ‘water in the face’ method yet,” Soonyoung asked, crossing his arms and smirking.

“That was one time, and if I remember correctly, you were also sleeping in. The second reason why I moved out.” Hansol took a hefty gulp of his water, and sat it on the counter close to you. By the time you finished cleaning both dishes, he had his hand on your hip. “How was breakfast with the menace?”

“Good! Same old Soonyoung, buttering me up for information he should keep his nose out of.”

“Hey!” Soonyoung raised his hands in defense. “I’m just being a good friend.”

“And what information were you trying to extract from my girlfriend, exactly?” Hansol grinned. You never stopped adoring his smile, or how great the endearment sounded on his lips.

“Nothing too juicy. Just how you once plopped a pillow over my face to stop me from snoring.” You wrapped your arms around Hansol, loving the feel of his body. He could take a shower later and smell better, but hearing his heartbeat against your ear mattered more. “I missed you.”

“I left for an hour!”

“Still missed you,” you mumbled, coming close to his mouth before you pecked it. Wanting more, Hansol leaned in for another, deeper kiss. In the moment, being in the same room with your friend didn’t bother you. The fact Hansol missed you just as much showed in the way his kiss heightened all your senses.

“Okay,” Soonyoung muttered, “you guys can suck each other’s faces off. I’m going home, where I’m actually appreciated for my mouth.” He winked at you both and left the apartment, whistling the whole way down the hall.

* * *

Freshly showered Hansol snuggled on the couch beside you, flicking channels without much attention to the programs. You didn’t speak much after you both relaxed in the living room, but you picked having him close over small talk. “So, were you actually telling Soonyoung about my accidental pillow suffocation, or was it something else?”

You shrugged. The comfort of his chest under your head made the earlier conversation flit away. “Nothing really interesting.”

“Try me.” He paused the show he picked and turned himself to face you, genuine curiosity glimmering in his eyes.

Noticing the thin leather bracelet around Hansol’s wrist, you grinned. On your sixth date, conveniently in an arcade, you decided he deserved a gift. Nothing big, but something to remember the night. A claw machine with only bracelets and smaller trinkets caught your eye, and you spent the next two hours fighting for the bracelet, its little blue and purple beads in the brown lining capturing your attention immediately. Hansol’s smile as you put it on him made every cent you spent worth it.

The next time you saw him, out for his usual workout session without it on his wrist, he confessed he never wore it during his runs. He joked how he didn’t know which was worse: the fear of losing it or it not being there at all. When you said losing it was worse, he responded with, “I guess you’ll just have to hold my hand until I’m wearing it again.” On that day, you knew you fell in love.

You took a breath and placed your hand in his. “Soonyoung asked about us…and sex. It came up after we were talking about him and Minghao, and I guess he thought it’d be interesting to know. But of course, it’s ridiculous right? There’s nothing to say.”

You focused attention everywhere but on him. The gray fuzz of the blanket, the potted plants and striped rug the two of you bought once you moved in together, the wall photos from several dates and get-togethers with friends. A whole life you shared together, and you couldn’t seem to stare into his eyes and unbottle a fear you possibly didn’t understand yourself.

“Hey, look at me.” His other hand sat gently under your chin, but you turned your face on your own. His brown eyes stared back, not judgmental or confused. Only loving. “It’s not nothing, and definitely not anything to be embarrassed about.”

“I’m not embarrassed, I just shouldn’t have told you. I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for. We never really…” Hansol huffed out a breath and leaned closer to you, rubbing figure eights into your palm with his thumb. “Do you wanna talk about it now?”

With a shaky sigh, you knew it was time to speak up. “It’s this intense thing we skated past somehow, and we’re great. Better than great, and I thought that it didn’t need to come up. But now, I know it’s the one thing that we haven’t done and it could somehow ruin everything, you know? It should be nothing, but it isn’t.” Your stomach sank lower with every word. Each one felt like the search for an answer.

Hansol pressed a kiss to your palm, still interlocked with his. “You’re right, it isn’t. It’s completely terrifying and normal to be scared of, but I promise it won’t change anything you don’t already know about me, us, or how I feel about you.”

“How do you know? I mean, just because you go down on me or I give you a decent blowjob doesn’t mean we’re… _compatible_ that way.”

He laughed loud before responding. “First, I understand the fear that maybe what I want and what you want in bed could be different, but that’s what couples figure out with practice and communication. Second, I love you, more than anyone. You’re incredibly beautiful, insanely and frustratingly sexy, and I don’t care how long you want to wait. When you’re ready, I will be too.” His kisses against your hand eased the tension in your body, if only for a little while. “Also, your mouth is anything but decent.”

Although you laughed, water welled at the corners of your eyes. “Still Han, what if it changes how you feel about me? Like, this could be  _the_  thing that proves maybe I’m just not—” You choked on the last words, unable to give life to your worst fear.

“Don’t think that way. There’s nothing you could do or say that would change anything that I think or love about you. Well, maybe joking with my parents about my baby photos again, but that’s the only thing. Cross my heart.”

You giggled, letting your head fall into Hansol’s neck. You wrapped your hands around him, and his scent reminded you of what mattered. Mint and sea salt.  _Home_. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing, or Tickle War Part ‘I Don’t Know’ will commence.”

You shook your head and sank deeper into him, his body solid against your frame. “I love you.”

“I love you more, babe. Always more.”

* * *

It was a great week after that. The two of you continued with your normal routine, with work and long hours of touching and snuggling taking up the past seven days. Still, your mind wandered now and then to that talk on a late Saturday afternoon. How confident Hansol was and how sure you felt against him reminded you why you loved him. He had the power to lock away most of your worries, even if they came back. With or without you having to ask, he’d fight all your monsters.

The opening of the front door made you shoot up from the couch. A bag of groceries in one hand and a bouquet of flowers in the other, Hansol smiled wide when he saw you. Placing the bag on the counter, he met you in the middle of the living room with a tight hug. “Surprise? I thought you were still napping, and I could be dorky and leave them next to you to wake up to.”

“Very corny, but I would’ve loved it. I love it now.”

You kissed him abruptly, the plastic wrapping around the flowers crunching as he pressed you deeper into his body. He let go for breath, a laugh sputtering out. “Well, you’re very thankful.”

“I mean, I should be considering I don’t know why you got me flowers in the first place.”

“Just because?” A boyish grin spread across his face, accompanied by a shade of pink coloring his cheeks. “I hope you like them.”

Staring at the array of yellow sunflowers, sweetness bloomed in your chest. Sweetness and adoration for the man who took your heart so gently and never let go. The longer you stood there in his arms, the quicker the adoration burned brighter and into something deeper. Carnal. A desire, despite all fears, that pulled him in for another kiss.

When you separated again, you whispered, “Put the flowers on the coffee table. I’ll get water for them later.”

“Why later?” A pout formed on his lips, but it died the second he saw the gleam in your eyes.

“I want to do something else right now.” Before he could respond, you took his hand and led him into your bedroom. The little bits of sunlight at dusk colored the space, creating patterns on the comforter.

Your hands were shaking when you let Hansol go and stepped forwards until your legs hit the end of the bed. Grabbing the bottom of your shirt, you peeled it off without second-guessing yourself. Now, with only your bra covering your top half, your chest heaved with every breath.

The moment hung in the air for too long, until he held onto you with his hands on your hips. “Are you sure? We don’t have to—“

“I do,” you whispered. You smiled genuinely while studying his face, feeling more than vulnerable. “I want this with you.” Whatever came next, you knew it was a step you wouldn’t regret. Not when he gave you every reason to fall back into his arms without fear of landing on the ground.

It didn’t start as a clash of teeth and tongue, no haste of dropping clothes to the floor, or anxious sighs and groans. It started with hands on your cheekbones and the softest of kisses. Hansol whispered the most tender “Okay” before his lips met your own, and it was a wonder you stood upright at all. With his hands on your skin and his tongue, coaxing and welcoming a sigh from your mouth, you were lost and sinking into him.

Never breaking the kiss, he picked you up off the ground and wrapped your legs around his waist. The immediate reaction was to wrap your arms tighter around him for support, but once he laid you out on the bed, you both cracked a smile and laughed like nothing was out of place. You were still you, and he was still him.

The black tank top Hansol was wearing showed the best of his arms and shoulders, and while you knew every line of his body, you wanted to see the rest again. You wanted it off.

With enough looks between his eyes and the fabric, he removed it quickly and hovered over the top of you. Soft skin atop his muscle and bone, you outlined the curve of his shoulder with your index finger, quietly marveling at the edges of him.

“Like what you see?” He winked again, playing with strands of your hair fanning out on the comforter. Something bright and childish shined in his expression, and you felt like a teenager again, crazy and in love. Very much in love.

“I really do. Then you ruined it with that awful line.” You giggled and leaned your head into the junction of Hansol’s collarbones. He laughed whole-heartedly in response before you met his eyes again.

“I’m sorry.“ A blush crept onto Hansol’s face, a breathtaking sight.

“No. I like it. It makes me…less nervous.” His hand, the hand with his bracelet dangling from his wrist, dropped lower to the curves of your chest and the skin of your stomach.

“That’s good. I don’t want you to be nervous about this.” Hansol kissed your nose and both cheeks before linking his hand with your own. “I’ve got you.”

You nodded, certain nothing was more true. “I know you do.” You kissed the curve of his shoulder you touched with your finger. While you gave his body attention with your mouth, his lips kissed a path down to your neck. Unhooking your bra and throwing it somewhere in the room, you were too immersed in him and his skin against yours to care where it ended up.

No kisses felt as earnest. With your mouths pressed tightly to skin, it was an array of wanting and wishing for each other, melding and burning until there was nothing left but promises.

Hansol’s hands dipped into the waistband of your pajama pants, tugging them down gently until they were kicked away. Once they were off, he rested his hands on either side of your neck, proof he wanted you to know he was there with you like you were with him, experiencing everything and taking nothing for granted. “You’re beautiful, you know that?”

“So are you,” you whispered, the cool air hitting your legs and your words warming you in every corner.

You began to trail your hands down your hips to your panties, when he stopped you. He kissed your neck with fervor and murmured, “Let me.”

He stood, his breathing labored and struggling to stay even. His eyes lowered to your exposed center once he slid your panties down your legs. He could tell from past experience you were already wet from the small amount of touching. When he sank to his knees, you knew he’d take his time.

His lips slid slowly from your ankle to your knee, and the path to your thigh was slow, desperate, and aching as he spread your legs wider. You didn’t urge him to go faster, but the prolonged dance of his mouth would unravel you quickly. He pressed a kiss to the outside of one lip, then the other, until he was breathing against your clit. Your body keened under the small attention.

Then, his mouth sank onto you, and no words could explain any coherent thought. Your brain was empty of ideas. All you felt was feelings with his lips sucking and licking, then the teasing of a finger slowly pressing in. Songs at midnight, a body sleeping against grass, the flicker of a match ready to dance into flames. “Yes.”

He continued kissing and weaving his tongue into circles around and against your clit. A second finger had you moaning louder, encouraging his efforts. You were sinking into the bed and under his touch, building and searing any remaining doubts. It could have been hours bleeding into years, and it didn’t matter. The only significance of the moment rested in Hansol’s mouth against you, making the world fall away into a safe place only the two of you recognized.

“You’re so wet,” Hansol whispered, staring at your body rising and falling, and the mess he’d made of you. His fingers kept sliding in and out, and only when you moaned again did he press his mouth back to your clit.

The third finger bent your body like a bowstring, twisting and arching in all directions. The whisper of an “I love you” snapped you completely, the flutter of an orgasm blooming wildly in your stomach as you came. Nothing but a hollow breath fell from your lips when you came back down, eyes blinded by white and a body sweaty from exertion. And there was still more to come.

Hansol wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before leaning into you for a kiss, the taste of yourself against his tongue. His eyes were broken and put together again from lust and love, and it all reflected in yours. “You’re perfect.”

“So are you…but I have a problem.” He looked worried immediately, but you only grinned widely and with eyes half open. “I’m naked and you’re not.”

He chuckled and kissed your forehead. “I think I can change that.”

Standing up, he looked down at you with adoration before removing what was left of his clothes. all while you moved yourself under the covers. The waning sunlight hit his chest in the best way, bringing the brown out in his eyes like liquid amber. So shy and deserving and yours. If anyone could have beauty in every feature, it was him.

Unbuckling his belt, you quietly waited to ogle the rest of his body. Unfortunately, getting out of his pant legs seemed to be a challenge, kicking each one forward and backward until his leg was out of the denim after a good minute. He raised his hands to his face, almost in agony that it wasn’t sensual in the way he envisioned it. He still smiled anyway.

“Attractive.” You laughed dizzily, fighting the urge to help him do it faster.

“You bet it is. I’m a catch.” His smirk made you giggle again.

The laughter died on your tongue once his boxers fell to the floor. Hard and attentive, you knew his cock was aching to be touched, or be inside you. Either way, you knew you wanted his skin pressed against yours again. “Condom?”

Hansol walked towards the bedside table, opening the drawer to grab a foil packet and rip it open. “Prepared as always.”

You smiled up at him as he pinched the top and rolled it onto the base, concentrated and determined. You bit your bottom lip when he crawled back onto the bed and over your body. “I love you,” you said with your fingertips on his cheek.

“Always more.” He kissed you fervently, his hands pressing into your chest and grabbing your breasts with fond amazement. “So soft. Everywhere.” You blushed, a deep scarlet blooming on your neck and face. “Beautiful.”

Aligning your center with the head of his cock, he looked into your eyes with the last bit of confirmation he needed. With another kiss, a final kiss of assurance, he pressed in.

The pinch of pain and pressure of him didn’t override the soft groan shared between you both, or the pleasure of him being inside of you. He moved deeper, and you gritted your teeth as the pain lingered. You tried to hide it, but the sudden hiss as he went in fully stopped him immediately. “Hey. If it hurts, we can stop.”

Concern brimmed on his face, and you thought you could love him all over again with the care he showed you. A warmth you desired more than anything you ever knew. “No. I’m just adjusting.” He didn’t move, but you kissed him and pushed your hips, urging him to continue. “I promise.”

He nodded softly. A slow thrust fluttered your eyelids closed. Another combined with the press of Hansol’s lips against your shoulder, mixed in with the muffled sound of his own groans, brushed away any nerves or discomfort. The slow movement of his hips drove a breathless whimper out of you, loving how connected you were and admiring every moment that led to this moment. This bed. The laughter and the smiles, the promises and assurance this would ruin nothing.

“Are you okay,” he whispered while leaning closer. Feeling him so deep inside of you, you had to remember how to speak coherently.

“Yes,” you replied, followed by a kiss to the column of his throat. A gasp left his mouth with another thrust of his hips, slow and deliberately pushing you closer towards a beautiful fall. You pulled him closer, chest to chest. “You can go faster. I won’t break.”

“I like slow.” Another snap of his hips, and he bit the bottom of his lip to hold back a moan. With the sensation of you wrapped around him and the sounds you made, he moaned anyway. “I like being this close with you, feeling you.”

You gasped once he sped up, not too fast but enough for your cries to flood the room, drowning out any noises he made in response. “Fuck.”

Moving at a pleasurable pace, the two of you were building and breaking until the marks against his back and the pressure of his hands on your hips didn’t exist. Until the sheen on his skin, the shared curses, and the lack of breath in your lungs didn’t matter much. It wasn’t fucking, or anything you would describe as rough or labored. It was making love in every sense. In all the touches and in each and every sound and kiss.  _This is what it feels like_ , you told yourself,  _to be loved completely_.

Fire licked and lapped at your senses, reading to consume everything with Hansol pumping into you and the sounds rising out of him, some almost dying on his tongue. The lazy crashing of his skin against yours showed he was unraveling like you were. “I’m…baby, I’m-”

“I know,” you responded, breathless and feeling waves rising high underneath your skin, waiting for the right moment to crash. Grabbing him by the face, coated in sweat, you pressed your lips to his before releasing a broken whisper. “Me too.”

With another full thrust inside, warmth spread through your body with a shiver and cry of Hansol’s name. It was blinding and blissful and all you could ask for as you fell deeper. Your hand clung to his shoulder as you rode it out, unrestrained sensations claiming your body and leaving you limp when you let go.

You came down to his hands still pressed into your hips and the image of fluttering eyelids as his body stuttered. He pressed his forehead to yours, lost in the sensation of his own orgasm. Attaching his lips to your own as he came, you let him milk out the last remnants of his pleasure before his hips came to a halt.

When he opened his eyes fully, you smiled against his lips. “Hi.”

“Hi.” He laughs. With another kiss, his head fell onto your chest. His own chest rose and fell with your own, a perfect tempo between your hearts.

The moonlight leaked through the curtains and fell onto the comforter. In his arms and with the peaceful quiet, you knew it was the only place you wanted to be. ”I love you, you know that?” His voice vibrated on your skin.

With your heart full, your body still buzzing, and your eyes drowsy, nothing was more right in the world. “I love you too.”

* * *

Slowly but surely, you wake up to his whole body draped around you. The droop of his open mouth proved he was still deep in sleep. You hated to leave him, but with a dry mouth, you knew the fridge was calling your name, if only for a glass of water, but not before you grabbed a shirt to put on.

Opening the fridge quietly, you grab the first bottle you see and pop the plastic cap. You remember the night before as you drink, the pleasure of skin against skin and reminders of how easy it was between you both, laughing and smiling the whole way through. The surprise of Hansol’s hands on your hips brings you back to the warmth you missed when you left your bed. “You could’ve woke me up, you know.” His lips attached to your shoulder,

You giggle. “Well, since you were so tired…” You turned your body to wrap your hands around his neck, curling the ends of his hair around your fingers.

“And when did I ever say I was tired?”

“You didn’t, but I thought you would be a little worn out…after everything.”

“Oh,” he said, a small grin on his lips. “Well, I’m fully rested now.” He kissed your temple softly. “It was perfect, if you were worried.”

With your heart thumping wildly in your chest, you smiled back at him. “It was, and I wasn’t.”

“Good. Now, go back to bed and I’ll make you pancakes.” His voice was so soft, you almost wanted it on your skin again like the night before.

You laughed. “How about we make them together?”

“Deal.” Sweeping down for a kiss, you felt it deep in your limbs. Numb and alive all at once, you wondered how a perfect night could turn into a perfect morning.

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted to my writing blog on tumblr (@chwepen if you'd like to find me there too ♡)!


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